Every person has a fundamental choice in life. You can look at your life and circumstances with a positive outlook or a negative outlook. Sometimes this is termed wearing rose-colored glasses when we are talking about someone who takes an optimistic view of things.

I know this is the case. When I have challenges in life, I have to choose whether I am going to look at the negatives or the positives. Here’s a quote that I remind myself of in these instances, and that I have shared with others who also find it helpful:

“Expect the best to happen, and you are on your way toward success. Don’t worry until you have to.”

Have you ever heard of the term ‘self-fulfilling prophecy’? I think we all have, yet few people stop to really think about it. I believe that there is a lot of truth to this term. When people run around thinking of all of the things that could possibly go wrong about a situation, I think it lends power to these possibilities we don’t want to have happen – not a smart choice!

If you think about it, we tend to achieve what we concentrate on. Since that’s the case, why would you want to concentrate on things you desperately want to avoid? Instead, be an optimist and head toward success!

Now, that doesn’t mean I am a Pollyanna. I know that not everything is going to work out always. There will be times that you don’t get what you want – that’s just called life. But we can still choose how we relate to the world and how we look at things.

If we are going on and on about how bad things are, that just wastes time and keeps us stuck where we don’t want to be. Instead, why not put in the time and effort to get out of the negative space and back to where you want to be? Just refuse to give up, often things will turn around.

It’s like driving a car – you will go where you are looking and steering toward. Use your thoughts and energy and effort to focus on the outcomes you desire, and this is a big step toward realizing those goals!

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I was talking the other day with my friend Martin at happy hour. He brought up a very interesting topic. Martin’s in his mid-thirties and dating a young woman he nicknamed Lady Friend. She isn’t his girlfriend yet, at least not that he tells people. They have been together for around three months.

Well, Lady Friend may not be on the same page as Martin, commitment-level wise. Martin won’t call her his girlfriend, and there she was inviting him home for Easter to meet her parents. This shocked him :’so soon!’ he exclaimed. But then we started talking and wondered, how soon is too soon, and how do you know when it is ok to invite the partner home?

Martin’s take is that three months is not long enough. Our friend Jane agrees with him. Jane is even more conservative with bringing home dates than Martin is. If you want to meet her parents, Jane tells us, you can figure on dating her at least a year before you get that invitation.

My own case is unusual. I told them hesitatingly of my story. My current boyfriend invited me to meet his parents only five weeks after we started dating. My friends were amazed. ‘What did you do?,’ they asked me.

Simple: I went. ‘Turned out fine, we’re still together and happy nearly a year later.’ That doesn’t mean that I was comfortable with five weeks though. In fact I waited several more months before inviting my boyfriend home to meet my parents.

There are a number of factors to consider when you determine when you want to invite your partner to meet your parents. You need to weigh the pros and cons. On one hand, too soon and your significant other will feel rushed and uncomfortable. Nobody likes to be pressured.

But on the other hand, an invitation is a good way to gauge whether your partner is serious. That is something you do want to know, and it may be better to find this out sooner rather than later. Wouldn’t you want to know rather than waste your time?

You may be wondering what happened with Martin. Well, he decided to go with his gut, and stay home with his family for Easter. Meeting Lady Friend’s parents will have to wait for now.

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In the early stages of a new relationship, you aren’t sure of each other or the future of your partnership. It’s a thrilling time, full of discovery and self-disclosure.

While this is a great feeling, it cannot last. Eventually the excitement of new love settles into a warm, loving companionship if the relationship is to continue. This doesn’t mean that you can’t stay in love, only that it takes a bit more effort.

Any couple that has been together for a long time knows this. The early stages are only the first act; the rest of the play takes place after things have settled down. If you find yourself wondering how to make this transition, take heart. You can stay in love after the falling in love stage of the relationship ends. Try some of these suggestions.

Spend some time apart: New couples tend to monopolize each others’ time. They want to go everywhere and do everything together. Of course, in the long term that’s just not practical.

You need to spend time alone to keep up with yourself and who you are. Don’t let your own interests and pursuits fade because of a relationship. Spending time on your own, following your own needs and pursuits, will help you and your partner remember why you found each other so interesting and desirable.

Trust yourself: Listen to the little voice inside, if you get the feeling that there is something going wrong. You aren’t paranoid. You are perceptive, and picking up on early, minute signals that there is something amiss that needs fixing.

If you do this when you first feel uncomfortable, you may be able to stop a problem before it becomes severe. The earlier an issue is addressed in a relationship, often the easier it is to resolve.

Don’t get too comfortable: Your partner deserves to be with someone who is fit, healthy, smart, and charming. Just because you’ve been together for a long time doesn’t mean that you can forget about these things.

Keeping yourself up shows respect for your partner. It also shows that you respect yourself, and are willing to continue to work for and value your relationship.

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We think of retirement as a relaxing time when we can do exactly as we please. For many Americans, though, the transition to retirement is challenging we’re not used to that much time, we’ve spent most of our adult lives at work!

Suddenly you have tons of free time, but if you haven’t prepared adequately before retirement you may not have the ability to enjoy it as you had dreamed. To make the most of your future retirement, follow these tips:

Plan your time and money. If you don’t, you may find that once you are retired you have no idea what to do with yourself.

For people who strongly identify with and spend most of their time at their workplace, this is most important. If you don’t plan ahead you may not develop enough interests and hobbies to fill your time after you no longer have work taking up your days. Plus, your friends may be gone or still working, you can’t count on friends to occupy you.

Know what you have. If you ask a room full of people who are considering retirement whether they will be able to afford to retire soon, most of them will tell you that they have no idea.

You won’t be able to accurately plan for and save for retirement unless you know what you have on hand. You will need to know whether you have enough money to retire they way you want to.

Adjust your insurance coverage. Once you are retired, and have sufficient assets to cover your expenses, there’s no point in carrying insurance against losing a job. On the other hand, since you need to conserve your assets to live on, you’ll want to make sure you carry sufficient liability insurance.

Choose your lifestyle now. Once you are into retirement, you may find that you spend a great deal of money on medical care. This can mean that your choices dwindle, if you haven’t pre-prepared. Decide now if you want to stay in your home, go to a retirement community, or so on and make plans for this.

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Becoming a vegetarian is never easy, especially if you’re used to a meat-based diet. Just keep in mind that it’s not about always getting it right in a snap, transitioning to such a diet and lifestyle is a gradual process. Simply reward yourself for making good dietary choices, and you’ll surely be motivated to continue on with being a vegetarian.

You can begin by committing to having vegetarian meals for three days a week, in the first two weeks. Start substituting ingredients in your favorite dishes to make them truly meat-free.

Once you get used to having three vegetarian meals a day, up the frequency to five days a week for the rest of the month. It would help to study the natural foods aisle at your local store to ensure that you stay on track. Don’t forget that the internet can also be a good source of vegetarian recipes. From time to time, treat yourself to a new veggie product to keep things exciting.

On that note, don’t think that being vegetarian is something only to be practiced at home. Make it a point to stick to your diet even while dining out. Try new vegetarian dishes that restaurants have to offer. Who knows where the inspiration for your next home-cooked veggie meal may come from?

Now that you’ve got five days of your week covered, start adding in a few more days to complete a week. If you stick to this method of gradually transforming your diet, you’ll be a strict vegetarian in no time.

Being vegetarian is certainly something to be proud of. In doing so, not only do you help yourself lead a healthier lifestyle, you end up helping the environment as well.

Remember, it’s not about getting things right, all in one go. Transitioning to being a vegetarian is hard work and it may take some getting used to, but soon you’ll realize that the end results are priceless. Just keep rewarding yourself for making good dietary choices and you’ll certainly be more motivated to continue heading in the right direction.

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