There was an article I read about a man who asked an adviser, “Why do girls go for the bad guys?” He was a decent man he explained. His way of treating women was respectful, kind and compassionate. Then along comes a charmer who does just the opposite and wins the girl the good guy is hoping to attract.

It may take a different approach and a different set of standards for a man to look at a different type of woman. The standards of most women do not include a rude, ornery vulgar man who treats them like dirt. Only very insecure females who are a bit on the dense side would want that. Or they’ve been watching too many nasty guy movie characters like Hugh Jackman’s in Australia. Even if they find low class guys that exciting before marriage – if they manage to get them to the altar, which is doubtful – they’ll soon regret it. The excitement soon wears off and marriage becomes a nightmare. Furthermore, these kinds of guys usually want to save their marriages only to keep their women under their control.

The majority of women would die for men who don’t leer, pinch and act lecherous toward them. The potential for making good husbands is there with these nice guys. A good guy like that doesn’t unceremoniously grope for his woman’s breasts or between her legs when he pops through the door. Even when it’s lovemaking time, he treats his darling tenderly, as if he were dealing with a lovely, awesome creature, encouraging her passion to rise gradually. He leaves the gross stuff to cave men and beer guzzling jerks. The good guy usually is very much into preserving his marriage, too.

And frankly, a woman who has an ounce of sense in her body will shun the jerk and go for the guy with class, even if he isn’t all that good looking. Otherwise, she may find herself dumped by the bad boy she thought was so marvelous; or she might wish to dump him and discovers that’s not as easy as she thinks. Save your marriage? We’d say, get hooked up in a good marriage in the first place and you’ll want to save it. Already married to the bad boy? Then don’t wait until you get dumped to find a solution. We’ve got the stuff you need to help make things better.

Margaret Hardisty, International Bestselling Author and Speaker Dr. Vance Hardisty International Speaker and Author Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com

Do you have relationship problems? You are not alone. Save my marriage , and get separate help for men This article, Bad Men – Good Men has free reprint rights.

We received this from a woman who was in one of our seminar audiences: If you constantly are receiving little compliments from your mate, doesn’t it turn into more of a game than a true communication, causing mistrust: never knowing if your partner really means what he is saying?

What is “true communication?” Is it this? “You are saying nice things. Therefore, I must be suspicious because I have learned not to trust people. You couldn’t possibly be sincere.” The lady who wrote the question above possibly had been disillusioned by insincere people in her past. Or her husband cheated on her. Or she couldn’t get out of herself enough to really accept and love her husband fully or accept his love.

Possibly she would prefer her husband to say it like this: “I’ll say what I want when I want to, and if I have to put myself out to say what I don’t want to say, I am playing a game. Besides, when I do try, you don’t appreciate it, so I won’t say anything nice from now on.” Most men and women have no trouble expressing themselves loud and long on what they don’t like and in using negative communication. And, sadly, most couples experience more of the negative in communication from each other than the positive.

Perhaps it has come from the example set by Hollywood. Along with the degrading of morals and decency that movie makers are grinding out, Hollywood insists that many of their heroes and heroines not be nice or loving except when they want to make out – and sometimes not even then. Rather, the language used is degrading, unkind, mean, insulting — or absent. Their intent seems to be to present the dark side of life as normal, acceptable and most desirable. What is decent, good, tender and romantic in a good way is portrayed as ridiculous, comical or maudlin. They are the blind leading the blind. Don’t follow their lead.

If the lady who asked the foregoing question has a husband who is attempting to compliment her and be a sweet guy, she shouldn’t kill what is good by pecking it to pieces like a chicken pecks at a piece of fruit, getting it dirty in the process. Not only does she destroy what could be uplifting to her, but she may end up destroying her marriage. You can imagine how hard it would be to be married to someone who never believed your professions of love and who closed their heart to you for fear of being hurt.

Perhaps that’s why they were at our marriage seminar. She should ask herself, “Do I want to save my marriage?” She was at the seminar, so I am sure she would say “Of course.” If so, then she ought to change her habit of critiquing her man’s every intent in word and action.

In our books and materials at Love Relationship Headquarters, we encourage compliments, sweet words and loving expressions. What comes out of the mouth, if it is consistent, will follow in the heart, and there will be a sincere attempt, not only to save the marriage, but to make it better than ever. If you have habits you need to change, but it seems next to impossible, we show you how to do that, too. Join us at the site where you are right now: www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com.

V:3 Look at our material, get it and start living in a new and exhilarating way Dr. Vance Hardisty International Speaker and Author Margaret Hardisty International Best Selling Author and Speaker Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com

All marriages are worth saving, Save your marriage today, and get separate help for women Free reprint avaialable from: If It’s Good – Love It.