Is there such a thing as being too nice? One would think not, but sadly, there are times when that may be the case.

It would natural to think that if you treat people nicely they will want to respond in kind. Unfortunately, that doesn’t always happen.

When you are nice or kind to someone who is unused to it or is emotionally damaged in some way, they may see it as a signal that you are weak. They may try to take advantage of you if they see an opening. Your gesture of good will may mean to them that you are less likely to stand up for yourself.

Let’s say that you do something nice for someone without expecting something in return. Not long after that person may start asking you for favors. Instead of seeing your act of kindness as something to be appreciated and reciprocated, they see it in a selfish way. They will continue their requests and it will likely escalate until they become unreasonable. When you finally do say no, you may feel guilty because you have agreed to so much before.

When you are nice, some damaged people can feel like they have license to take your time and possessions as they please. They think you’ll never stand up for yourself, so they have no reason not to and you will never defend yourself in a fight.

You may have been taught to “do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” but not everyone subscribes to this philosophy. Sometimes being nice just makes you a target of those who find it easier not to be.

Being nice to people is a definitely a good thing, but it pays to protect yourself. Go ahead and test the waters. Be nice but don’t go all out for someone unless you’re pretty sure you know how they will respond to it. If you see signs that the recipient is testing your kindness, be sure to assert yourself so they know that you can’t be taken advantage of.

Don’t think you always have to be nice. Recognize that in some situations it isn’t necessary or won’t be appreciated. It can even cost you in the long run, so think about who you want to extend your kindness to.

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It takes work to make a relationship last. One thing that is sure to sabotage a couple is snide comments. Harmful remarks are hard to brush off sometimes and can build up causing resentment.

You can only ignore comments like that for so long, before you start feeling angry. You may want to lash out. Here are a few ways to relieve some of the pressure before it reaches a boiling point.

1. If it’s infrequent, try ignoring it. Assume that your partner just had a bad day and didn’t mean it.

2. If it continues, try explaining to your partner how those comments make you feel. Make it personal and give examples. Tell your partner specifically how you feel after a snide comment.

3. Most couples could benefit from regular counseling. A weekly or monthly appointment will give you both an opportunity to air problems and express appreciation for each other.

Frequent counseling also gives couples a chance to address things discussed in previous sessions. That way, things are not left unsaid.

For the sessions to be the most beneficial, each person must feel they can safely express themselves. To facilitate this, explain your issues in non-blaming statements.

So, do your part to enable your relationship to go the distance. If your partner snaps at you, give him the benefit of the doubt and let it go. If it is an on-going problem, however, call him out on it before you lose it. Explain how it makes you feel without placing blame.

Regular counseling sessions may be the secret to many long term relationships. They will help clear the air and give each person a safe place to express themselves. You may need to go to counseling on a continual basis. Couples who invest such time and effort into making their relationship work should see results.

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categories: marriage,dating,self help,psychology,motivational,goal setting,parenting,family,teens,women,men’s issues,advice,reference

Finding the right romantic partner for you can be difficult. One friend of mine has gone so far as to declare that she needs to move to a new place, having already dated all of the single men in her current town.

She claims that it is move, or try one of those online dating sites. And she doesn’t like the idea of online dating, so she’s checking on rentals in some of the nearby cities and calling movers for quotes. Which leaves her with just the one option.

She thought her only option was to move. Personally, I think this is silly. She overlooked a major way to meet great potential partners : go about your life and do fun things you enjoy!

You may be shocked right now. You mean, have fun? And this can work? Yes, that is exactly what I am telling you. You are actually better off just doing things you like to do, and trying to meet people that way, rather than spending time on the not-fun business of trying to do a dedicated partner search. That is what I told my friend: start going out and just having fun.

For instance, she loves reading. I recommended she join a book group. At the very least she’ll meet interesting people who share her passion for literature. If she doesn’t meet men there directly, she may meet some new friends who can introduce her to her perfect guy later on.

This same advice works for anybody. Try it! Instead of being so worried about meeting the right guy or the perfect girl, just have fun doing things you like doing. You’ll be a lot more pleasant to be around because you’ll be happier, and you’ll meet people who like the same things you do. That’s a great way to start a new relationship!

Another friend of mine has been more successful on the finding a partner front, by following his passions. He’s a gym buff, and met his wife while working out. Now the pair work out together, and go for runs. They share an active lifestyle and have a blast. I’m another example. I love to write (you may have noticed). I met my partner at a writing group. Now in our spare time, we write together.

This is a version of the sage if clichd advice to be yourself. It’s great advice, and you can’t lose. If you find a partner, wonderful, you’ll have lots of fun things in common. And in the mean time, you are enjoying yourself and developing your own interests.

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You may love everything about your man – he could be handsome, funny, and charming – but despite all the great things about him, his hair still might need some work. Seeing your guy with an unattractive haircut can nearly spoil the whole package!

If you find yourself with a guy like this, you’ll have to tread carefully if you plan on telling him that he needs to change his haircut. Guys can be very sensitive about their hair, and just coming out and saying that a guy’s hair is ugly is sure to put a damper on the relationship. Here are some tactful ways to improve your guy’s hairstyle, no matter what he has on top of his head.

Thinning or Balding – Probably the most common hair problem facing men, it can be tough on their self-esteem since it’s unattractive to women. Thus, men pay incredible amounts of money for hair loss treatments, ranging from topical lotions to prescription pills.

If your guy is losing his hair, don’t bother pointing it out to him – it’s a given that he already knows and is self-conscious about it. If his hair loss is an issue for you, there really isn’t much you can do about it. His hair will most likely continue to fall out as he ages, so if it’s a big problem for you, you should consider moving on to a different relationship if you can’t accept it.

Bed Head – Does your man keep his hair looking a bit disheveled on purpose, to achieve that “just got out of bed” look? Some guys do this intentionally while others are just completely unaware that their hair looks unkempt. If your man can’t pull off the look, let him know gently that he needs a new hairstyle.

Frizziness – It may not seem like it, but guys have the same hair problems that women do. Most of the time, we don’t even know how to fix them, or even don’t feel like it’s worth the trouble.

If you’re dating a metrosexual guy he’s probably aware of the usefulness of hair products; otherwise, you may have to teach him about these products yourself. You can casually mention that a little gel could help straighten out his look, and show him how to choose one specifically designed to tame his frizzy hair.

The “Baldy” Look – Some guys shave their heads to hide the fact that their hair is thinning, while others do it because they like the look. It works for some guys, but not others. If your man’s buzz cut is unattractive or even scary, suggest to him that he would look good if he grew it out some.

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Your marriage is very important : it is the basis of your adult life. It forms the symbol of your commitment to your spouse, and it also connects two families via this legal relationship.

Also, it is often the start of your own family. You will probably bear and raise children. This isn’t always easy. You need to be prepared for the juggling. You’ll be managing responsibilities for children, work, and your relationship.

Remember that love can shift over time. There are normal fluctuations to it, and it also can be affected by the living situation you are in. Sometimes love can start to fade. If you think your love is fading, check for these three signs:

1. You start to lie to your spouse. Truth and trust are the basis of a strong marital bond. When you lie to your spouse, even about the little stuff, it’s a problem. This goes for little while lies too.

Now, sometimes we will tell a loved one a white lie with good intentions, to avoid hurting feelings. This can snowball though and lead to larger lies that will become problematic.

2. Lots of arguments over small things. Every couple will argue sometimes. It isn’t the argument that is the problem per se. If you are arguing frequently, though, this is troubling, especially if you are arguing about silly little things that you wouldn’t have argued about months back. This shows a reduction in tolerance for your spouse.

When you argue, you can start to feel angry and frustration also. You need to keep them in check, because if you really let fly and say and do hurtful things this will damage your marriage.

3. Infrequent intimacy with your spouse. Passion and intimacy are natural when your love bond is strong. We feel passionate when we are in love, and intimacy is not a chore or a rarity. If you find that you and your spouse are rarely intimate, then you are likely experiencing a weakening bond and your love is having trouble.

If you notice any of these signs that your loving relationship is in trouble, take steps to repair your union before it degrades to a critical point.

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Everyone wants to look good in their sunglasses, but finding a pair that has the proper UV protection is just as important.

You may not know it, but sunglasses were originally created to aid Navy pilots who were flying at high altitudes. Today there are a multitude of styles and colors to choose from but the main purpose for wearing sunglasses is the same.

The best sunglasses provide 100 percent protection against harmful ultraviolet rays. They prevent ultraviolet rays from penetrating and damaging the cornea. The first sunglasses used glass lenses. The glass was ground using an optical grinder and then treated for UV protection. This provides protection and prevents distortion.

When lenses cause viewing distortion, the wearer can get headaches and feel dizzy. When looking for the best sunglasses, look for those that use optically ground glass. It will ensure clear vision.

Sunglasses developers have found that glass is naturally resistant to UV rays. Always look for sunglasses that offer adequate sun protection.

Next let’s discuss the color or tint of your sunglasses. The best sunglasses are dark enough so that only about 15 percent of sunlight penetrates the lens and reaches the eye.

In tests, scientists learned that the glare pilots experienced flying in high altitudes, was best reduced by glasses that blocked out 85 percent of sunlight. When selecting sunglasses for yourself, remember to that darker is better for blocking out UV rays.

Choosing a good pair of sunglasses may seem like a simple decision but there is more to consider than looks alone. The best sunglasses are optically ground to provide protection against ultraviolet rays and only allow 15 percent of sunlight to penetrate.

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categories: health,fashion,happiness,self help,advice,reference,social issues,family,parenting,teens,kids,women,men’s issues,motivational

Do you go on plenty of dates that seem like they will be promising, yet they don’t lead to much? If this sounds like a familiar situation, you may want to ask yourself whether you are following some outdated ideas. Sometimes, the way that things are done changes but the myths of how to do things will persist. Below, we compare some common myths with the realities.

Myth: Don’t talk about yourself on a date. If you talk about yourself, your date will think you are boring and conceited.

Reality: You have to talk about yourself, how else is your date supposed to get to know you? You don’t want to monopolize the conversation and talk about nothing but yourself, but including information about you is a crucial part of making a good first impression.

Don’t worry about seeming like you are focused on yourself. You can prevent issues with this if you ask your date questions about themselves as well. This also signals to them that you are interested in getting to know them better.

Myth: Being friends with someone first makes it easier to start a successful relationship.

Reality: When people are friends, they are relaxed around each other and interact easily. You’d think this would help a relationship, but in fact it can make it harder to form a romantic interest in someone. Romance is helped along by a little mystery, a sense of discovery, and some nervous anticipation. Dating your old friend can seem far too familiar for that delicious uncertainty to develop.

Myth: When you go out for dinner, be sure to order the salad. This shows your date you take good care of yourself.

Reality: If you order the salad, but you wanted to steak, you are not being honest with your date about who you are. Better to let them see more of the ‘real you’ than to hide behind a false front of self-denial.

Also, ordering the salad when this is not your taste can suggest to the other person that you are trying too hard or are being fake. They may wonder if you are trying to seem like something that you are not. They may also wonder if you are overly cautious or restrained with your food choices, does this mean that you are also overly cautious or restrained in other areas of your life.

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categories: dating,women,men’s issues,happiness,motivational,family,teens,goal setting,self help,advice,reference,hobbies,recreation,leisure